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written Fall of 2015

The Fall is always a difficult time of the year for me. The kids are back to school, my peers are all focused on their careers after some summer holidays, and I find myself at home, with even more time on my hands and a desperate need to figure out what I should do with my life. Since going on full-time disability leave in 2011 to try and sort out the challenges related to my spinal cord injury (SCI), I’ve often joked with friends that I’ve entered retirement. “Freedom 44” I say with a smile. I’m so grateful that I have insurance and investments that allow me to support my family and retain a comfortable lifestyle, but I never expected to be in this position in my 40’s and it’s something that I struggle with. September is also a bitch because in the back of my mind I know the anniversary of the day I broke my back is looming.

In previous years, Sabrina or I have acknowledged October 5th and shared with the world a little update with regards to where we’re at, or highlighting things we’ve accomplished or worked through. Last year I asked Sabrina not to acknowledge the date because I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself, or give the day any significance. Whenever I’m public with my life I fear that I might come across as soliciting pity or compliments, and this is something that I don’t want to do. This year, I’ve got things building up in me that I need to get out, so I’ve started writing, and after sharing my thoughts with a couple of very close friends, I’m feeling comfortable enough to share these with the world. Getting my thoughts down helps me work through how I feel about things so that I can hopefully move forward. Let's sort out some shit. Welcome to my blog.